Archive for March, 2016

Posted in Uncategorized on March 28th, 2016 by admin – Comments Off on

The first ranch I worked at was two sections in Montana. For reference, a section is 640 acres. They had roughly 300 cow-calf pairs of purebred Red Angus. So, red cows. They worked the cattle with Border Collies, as you do when you’ve got that many head. Now, as I assume you know, Border Collies are a predominantly black breed. Which is fine.
Then the neighbor’s Black Angus bull jumped the fence. Now, which you probably don’t know, black is the dominant trait in Angus cattle. Because of this, the resulting calf was born black.

Being used to being worked by Border Collies, every single one of those cattle was terrified of this black calf. She herded them by accident while looking for someone to be with her.

And that’s the story of the loneliest calf.


Posted in Uncategorized on March 28th, 2016 by admin – Comments Off on

True story: We used to have six ducks. My wife loves waterfowl and I hate them because, basically, they exist to foul water, right? DO NOT WANT!

Fucking three of the ducks drowned. Like seriously drowned. They climbed into a 60-gallon stock tank, forgot how to float, and fucking drowned. It wasn’t that they couldn’t get out of the stock tank, I fucking watched them get in and out! But they just went in it to swim, started floating, and then just… stopped. They sank.

I mean, floating is pretty much a core competency for a duck. That and having water run off their back is pretty much their deal, right?

But the ducks just kept sinking.

They just didn’t know how to float.